“I think we’ll get more kinky!”
A fetish club’s future
By Mariya Alfa Staugaard
On quite a regular Thursday afternoon, I ring the bell in Lavendelstræde by the sign saying, “Scandinavian Leather Men.” I have made an appointment with Lars and Henrik, board members of the SLM club, who have promised me a tour of the premises, while we talk about how the lockdown has affected the club and its members.
It is far from ordinary for a woman to gain access to the club. SLM is a club for men who have sex with men, and they have an unwavering set of rules to preserve that space. Since the club was founded in 1974, only a handful of women have been granted access to the sacred halls, and today, I join them.
Although the bar is closed due to Corona, Lars and Henrik have decided that I am getting the authentic experience of visiting SLM. For that reason, we start out by establishing whether I adhere to the strict dress code:
The dress code for an event can be either or a combination of: Leather, rubber, uniform, army, skinhead, construction, denim, sports & sneakers, and naked/jockstrap.
– SLM’s website
I have done my homework and put on a leather skirt and leather boots for today’s occasion, so I am admitted without further ado. HeartCore’s photographer joins us a bit later, wearing a patterned shirt, and he is told that on an official club night, he wouldn’t have admitted before changing – or taking off his clothes.
After the coat check and the outfit check, you are let in through another door leading to the bar area. The light is dimmed, and the room lit by red lamps and candlelight, and even though we’re the only four people in here, you gradually start to sense how it must feel when people gather in the smoking area or on the bar stools on a regular Friday night. The decorations reveal the club’s DNA, especially a large mural next to the bar showing two leather-men in action, which I am told is painted by one of the club’s members.
Altogether, the members themselves do everything around the club. SLM is volunteer-based and only the people cleaning up at the end of the night are paid. Being officially classified as a club (or association) is a technical necessity because it is illegal in Denmark to have sex in bars, but it also creates a sincere feeling of ownership amongst the members, which is clearly reflected in their involvement in the club.
After having checked out the bar area, the tour continues to the basement. Although you’re allowed to have sex anywhere in SLM’s rooms, the basement is fitted for a wider variety of play and kink. It’s laid out like a labyrinth with a changeable layout so you’re constantly moving around excited about where you’ll end up – and what you might see. There is an Andreas Cross for suspension, whips, chains, darkroom, glory holes, and a wet area for golden showers – pretty much anything a fetishist might desire. Curiously, I move around, ask questions, and acquire new knowledge, and several times I’m almost stumbling over door thresholds in the dim light. Lars and Henrik don’t seem to face the same challenge – you can tell that they know their way around the basement.
After the tour, we move back upstairs and make ourselves comfortable in one of the couch arrangements to have a chat. The leather couch cushions are dusty – it’s been a while since anyone has sat, lain, or kneeled here. Red tape crosses on the floor, yellow markings saying, “keep your distance,” and the familiar hand sanitizer bottles testify to the fact that things are not as they used to be. Like the rest of the country, SLM closed down in March 2020 and managed to re-open for four months in July until they were shut down again when the second wave of coronavirus hit.
What has the last year been like for you here at SLM?
Lars: It’s been a mixture of hoping that everything would be alright, and then having to close down again. We’ve opened and closed and opened and closed… We have worked hard to ensure that we are financially stable and that the club will still be here once we’re done with Corona.
Henrik: We actually closed down before the press conference (on March 11, 2020, Ed.); at 6PM we announced to all our members that we were closing down and that we would take it from there. After the board had reached an agreement, we drew up a lockdown plan. We found it particularly important to first inform our volunteers, and then all of the members. We were extremely focused on not having the authorities stop by – things needed to run smoothly from the get-go. And they actually did. But the one thing that has proven most challenging is the uncertainty.
How did your members react when you closed?
Henrik: I actually think that people were incredibly positive in the beginning, we also saw other bars follow suit. There was a rather good consensus about being responsible.
Lars: We have made an effort to be responsible and ensure that everything was in order. But it has also been very difficult. After all, this place is special; it’s also a place where people nurture their social relations. We have removed a social sphere for a lot of people, so it’s been a matter of balance.
Henrik: I believe the club will be up and running again, but it will probably be a bit different. But the brotherhood and kink and cruising, that’ll return.
Lars: I think so too – I think people will pour through the door. And what’s great is that we’re prepared for it. We need to do a bit of cleaning, it’s very dusty, but once that is done the club will be ready to receive all those people. I thought about it earlier today as I went round and lit the candles before you came. Damn, it’s hard not being here! It’s such an important part of our lives and I meet many of my friends here. It’s really been a deprivation.
Has there been any anxiety about the future of the club?
Lars: Sure, because it’s a significant place to people. It’s a place that a lot of people care about and has a special connection to and is nowhere else to be found in Copenhagen. So, the fear is that if we’re not around anymore, then what? Where will you go then?
Henrik: We also have a history that we’re proud of. We have existed for 48 years and we have met a lot of resistance. We have been shamed, also by the rest of the community – lest we forget. Now, I am one of the eldest members of the board, so I know our history. I also remember when AIDS came, and we were receiving shame and accusations that it was dangerous to go to the club. And we practice safe sex, as you can see (*he points to the condom-filled jars found everywhere in the bar and in the basement*). But people don’t know that – and often it’s people who haven’t been here who have bad things to say. So, for us, it’s also important to remain visible and proudly stand by what we are and preserve our history.
Lars: We are in a kind of a grey area in terms of state aid. We’re simultaneously categorized with swingers clubs and with bars. That’s also why we wear both belt and braces – because we’re in between. And we’re also a club for gay men who have sex, so we might face the accusation that people “go to SLM and catch Corona.” And that brings us back to the AIDS crisis. We can easily be accused of being a dirty establishment.
Henrik: Which we are, of course (*laughs*). But not in that way.
What’s special about what SLM offer its members?
Henrik: People come here because they think it’s hot and have a fantasy. We’re completely ordinary people, we’re easy to talk to, and you’re not slammed up against the wall if you don’t want to be. But here you can ask about anything you want. That’s one of our greatest strengths – you can ask all of the questions you want to, and you’ll get a straight answer. Down here you know it’s safe to test boundaries.
Lars: Yes, it’s actually okay to push the boundaries here. If the thought of ten men pissing all over you turns you on, but you’re afraid to tell anyone – when you walk out the door and it closes behind you, no one is going to tell anyone. People respect what happens at SLM and it is an incredible privilege to be able to go down here and try out something and test out whether it’s something you like. But no one out there in the world knows about it. And I really think there is a growing understanding within our community about what SLM can do. We also sense that in the other organizations because more than ever SLM is included. And that’s because SLM fills a void, we do something none of the others can do.
And if you’re at home and curious about how to get introduced to this community while we’re still in lockdown, what can you do?
Henrik: You can write to the board and there are links to all the other clubs on our website. You can also specifically ask if there are any online events because we can easily link people up.
Lars: People might be nervous about coming down here the first time and then it might be nice to know about the underground and fetish communities also found in cyberspace. You can still be a part of the community even if you don’t feel comfortable coming down here at first.
What do you miss most about going to SLM?
Henrik: I miss coming here and feeling in charge. I miss that dominance because that’s who I am. And it’s great standing there with others who feel the same way: “Now we’re standing here all geared up, we’re smoking a cigar, we’ll make out, we’ll drink a beer, we might fuck.” I miss that here I’m completely in charge of what’s going to happen.
Lars: And feeling that this place is alive. As I went round and lit the candles earlier, I walked into cobwebs – we don’t normally have those, because usually there are people crawling around in all the corners! Now it’s spiders. It’s very odd. That’s why I think we’ll be up and running really quick – because this place is dearly missed.
—
After a good chat and a few beers from the bar, I thank them for a pleasant evening and once again stroll out onto the streets of Copenhagen. It was definitely a new experience to see the inside of a fetish club, and no doubt part of SLM’s appeal is the sexy and the kinky. But after everything Lars and Henrik told me, this place unquestionably also is a space of great social significance for the club members and going without it during the lockdown has been challenging for a lot of people. But they are ready to open up again as soon as possible and I’m sure it won’t be long before the cobwebs are gone from the corners. When I asked them if they predicted any future changes, Henrik promptly answered: “I think we’ll get more kinky!”
About SLM Copenhagen
SLM Copenhagen is an s/m and fetish club for gay and bisexual men turned on by leather, rubber, uniforms, etc. The club features large rooms in a back building on Lavendelstræde, Copenhagen. SLM Copenhagen is not merely a sex club, but also a place where camaraderie is nurtured. Approximately half of the visitors use SLM as their local bar, where they primarily go to meet friends, while the other half primarily go there for sex.
Read more on the SLM website, where you can also find information about and buy a club membership.
Source: https://www.slm-cph.dk/?lang=en
